The golden years

I do love the fact that, in retirement, my parents are busier than ever. My mum has been visiting this week, and she’s literally squeezing it in between family engagements at home.

“Why are you only staying five days,” my older son keeps asking. “Last time, you stayed seven.” (he’s keeping tally)

“And where’s Grandad?” (Kids like a full set, don’t they? But Dad couldn’t come as he had commitments for the various charities he’s involved with, plus he’s fitting in FOUR rounds of golf.)

But it’s not just keeping busy that fills my parents’ time – my Mum is continually doing things to the house, and if I haven’t been home for a few months, it’s amazing what changes.

“Well, the guest bathroom is finished, and we’ve got new brown, leather sofas in the living room,” she told me today.

“Then there’s the traffic light in the garage.”

Who knew that British driveways near stations are paved with gold?

Who knew that British driveways near stations are paved with gold?

Seriously?” I replied.

“Yes, Dad’s new car is very long. The traffic light changes from green to amber to red, telling him exactly when to stop so he doesn’t crash into my freezer.

“And we have a Porsche parked outside now.”

“A WHAT!” I exclaimed (I mean, if it was Dubai, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but my parents live in suburban England where I presume those kind of cars still cost a fortune).

“Yes,” she smiled. “Parkatmyhouse.com. We registered on the website, and a young man turns up in his Porsche at 7 every morning, leaves it in our drive and walks to the station.

“Never see him, but presume he’s one of those, you know, city types.”

What an ingenious way to turn living in the commuter belt into a little earner.

When visitors come to town

For the past three weeks, we’ve had guests – first my mother-in-law and then my parents – and whilst I’d love to be able to tell you that we gave them a time-share in the grandchildren to remember, I’m not sure that we did.

Images of my mum floating round a lazy river, cocktail in hand at a pool bar or even relaxing on a lounger with a good book at the Polo Club didn’t materialise – because, to put it simply, life got in the way.

Nothing bad – just general busy-ness, scheduling clashes and a pesky flu bug – but enough to make me concerned that my parents’ visit could possibly be classed as unpaid labour, rather than a holiday.

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Where would working families be without advanced babysitting from super-grandparents? It’s just too bad they’re thousands of miles away normally

In the line of ‘duty’ this time round:

– The boys got really sick, warranting two days off school for grandson2 and causing untold sleep disruption

– I missed much of the above because of work, leaving The Visitors in charge (as to who had the easier job here, I’m in no doubt – especially the night shifts which, quite frankly, leave me wanting to throw breakfast bowls at the wall)

– After a bad experience in a taxi, and only able to drive as far as Arabian Ranches, my parents are, understandably, loathed to venture out on their own (and I can’t say I blame them), meaning they’re confined to the house if on their own. The pool aside, the only place they can walk to from ours is the mini-mart supermarket and dry cleaners

– The Thanksgiving buffet my DH took them to ended in a monumental and very public puking session courtesy of ‘chunder wonder’ poorly grandson1

– During their stay, they were also bystanders to a flood at grandson1’s birthday party venue and a hospital appointment about his upcoming surgery

– They suffered made it through a children’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, attended by 24 six- and seven-year olds

– DH, our main driver and peace-keeper, succumbed to the bug, mutated it into ‘man-flu’ and developed sciatica too

On the upside, some highlights I hope The Visitors enjoyed:

– Trips to a desert wildlife centre in Sharjah, the pool, a beach resort and Al-Barsha park

– A dhow cruise out into the Gulf and through the heart of Dubai Marina, followed by Arabic food

– For my dad, two glorious days of golf at the DP World Tour Championship, our trump card and just down the road from us

– Business class travel, both ways

What do you think? Do you think they’ll come back? I think they will – for the golf, at least, with their flu jabs topped up.