Tag Archives: tailgaters in Dubai

Deliveroo bike tailgated by a persistent and overly attached Land Cruiser

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Well, I thought I’d seen it all when I was tailgated by a school bus in the rain a couple of weeks ago.

I hadn’t – tonight’s tailgating episode left my eyes as wide as saucers!

Trundling along, I heard honking to my left. 

In Dubai, honking horns is like a game of musical chairs, except instead of chairs, you’re fighting for road space. Instead of music, you’re treated to the soothing sounds of car horns blaring at once.

Pipping the hooter is a national pastime. It can be both cathartic and frustrating. On the one hand, you feel satisfied when you let out a good, long honk after someone cuts you off or merges into your lane without warning. On the other hand, the constant noise can be overwhelming, like being stuck in the middle of a never-ending parade of angry geese.

And don’t even get me started on the different types of honks. There’s the short, sharp honk that says, “Get out of my way”; the long, drawn-out honk that says, “I’m so angry I can’t even form words”; and the friendly honk that says, “Hey there, fellow driver, let’s share a moment of camaraderie in this sea of chaos.”

But the best honks are entirely unintentional. For example, when someone accidentally leans on their horn while adjusting their sunglasses or scratching their nose. It’s like a sudden burst of noise that snaps you out of your driving trance and reminds you that you’re not alone in this crazy world.

But I digress. I looked left to see what the commotion was all about. There was a Deliveroo driver on a motorbike travelling beside my car. Now, I happen to think these riders are like real-life superheroes, but rather than saving the world, they deliver your favourite food right to your doorstep. They magically transform your hunger into happiness within minutes.

These food delivery ninjas must be quick on their feet, able to dodge traffic like a matador dodging a bull. And just like a matador, they must be brave, willing to face the dangers of the open road, armed only with a smartphone and a can-do attitude.

And let’s not forget the challenge of finding the right house, especially when the house numbers are in a cryptic code that only the Illuminati can decipher.

To my horror, the poor Deliveroo motorcyclist who had drifted into the faster lane was being tailgated by a Land Cruiser with blacked-out windows. This wasn’t just any old tailgating. Oh no, this was tailgating Dubai-style. It was like the driver, a shadowy figure sitting superiorly higher than the bike rider, was auditioning for a role in the next Fast and Furious movie. The poor, vulnerable Deliveroo rider could probably see his own alarmed reflection in the Landcruiser’s flashing headlights. 

All ended safely, thank goodness, though the motorcyclist did have to swerve out of the way as fast as he could. I do hope he got a big tip at his delivery address.

The next time you see a Deliveroo driver speeding down the road, give them a wave and a cheer because they are the true food delivery champions!

Driving in Dubai: Mario Kart, with real cars and no shells to throw at your opponents

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I spend a lot of time driving in Dubai, and it can be a wild ride. 

To anyone venturing out for the first time, I’d recommend forgetting everything you learned about driving in your home country because, on the city’s eight-lane highways, you’ll see drivers playing a real-life game of Frogger – hopping from lane to lane without missing a beat.

The roads are a chaotic mix of fast-paced highways, winding backstreets and sudden roundabouts that can leave even the most experienced drivers feeling dizzy.

One of the first things you’ll notice when driving in Dubai is the sheer number of luxury cars on the road. Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Rolls Royces are a common sight, and it’s not unusual to see a family of five crammed into a sports car that looks like it was designed for two. 

The other day, I came off a roundabout in the wrong orbit – in the fast lane, which I usually avoid due to the aggressive, extreme tailgaters. This is a common problem on Dubai’s busy roads and refers to drivers who closely follow your vehicle, flashing their headlights.

Unable to move over, it wasn’t long until I saw a tailgater in my rearview mirror, approaching my car faster than a gazelle on caffeine. He began flashing his lights. I still couldn’t safely move over due to traffic, and so my car became like a magnet for his. 

It was as if he had a personal vendetta against my vehicle and was determined to kiss my bumper all the way to my destination. I wondered if he was trying to communicate with me through some kind of secret brake light flashing code.

Over many years, I’ve learned that it’s not worth letting drivers like this ruin your day – but another incident a couple of weeks before did leave me completely gobsmacked.

It even happened in the slow lane, where I was travelling along cautiously as it was raining cats and dogs, it was dark, and cars were aquaplaning in the other lanes. 

A large, long vehicle rushed up behind me and began blinking its lights. He was like a persistent mosquito, and as I attempted to keep my cool, he stayed behind me, determined to keep up the annoyance.

He weaved around me on the left and I got a clear look at what it was. 

It was a school bus! A yellow beast, driven not by the usual patient soul, blessed with a calm demeanour belying the chaos coming from his cargo of chattering children, but by a first-class idiot. The bus was devoid of kids, but still … what a nutter. 

Of course, my kids think it was hilarious that a school bus, something they consider to be the equivalent of a giant yellow snail inching its way down the road, tailgated me!

Power games in the left lane

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My rearview mirror flashed in blinding strobes as the Land Cruiser behind me almost rammed me at 80 kmph. I was being tailgated and the impatient driver’s trigger-happy finger on his headlights wasn’t about to relax.

But where to move to? There was traffic to my right, and anyway, his huge, ugly car meant I could hardly see if the right lane was clear. Changing lanes didn’t feel safe. I stayed put and gripped the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles showed white. My heart rate sped up.

dubai-spaghetti-junction

Another problem with Dubai roads

I was already doing 20-over the speed limit and there was a bend coming up. For a moment, it looked like he might overtake on the hard-shoulder; he zigzagged to the left, then to the right, and finally zipped round me on the inside.

Then he came in front of me, and nearly stopped.

My foot slammed onto the brake, and my heart leapt into my mouth. I’m pretty sure it skipped a few beats. My throat tightened.

Behind me, the next car, thankfully, slowed right down and put his hazard lights on, two beacons of orange flashing urgently.

But what was the urgency? This, dear reader, exemplifies everything that’s wrong with Dubai roads: the road hogs with their blacked-out windows who have zero respect for other people’s lives, who tailgate aggressively, and who, like my one on my way home from work yesterday, was so filled with adrenalin he thought he’d teach me a lesson for not moving over and swerve in front of me and drive like a slug.

If he wasn’t in his car, behind glass and steel, and was instead walking behind me in the mall, would he walk right up to me until he was so close I could feel his hot breath on my neck, and then push me out the way? No he wouldn’t. So why does he think it’s okay to do this in his car?

I didn’t appreciate being bullied like that on my way home from work, MORON.