Christmas short-cuts for housewives

At work, being a weekly news publication, we’re ‘on a deadline’ the whole time. It’s relentless but everyone pulls together and the magazine always gets done – even when the post-recession production team is two people, doing six different jobs, down, like it was last week.

But the Christmas deadline? That’s something else altogether. And it’s not like I’m trying to create a Martha Stewart-esqe holiday like those women I meet with their bright red Christmas manicures and fresh highlights who hung the last bauble on the tree at 2am and had everything wrapped days ago. With bows on.

I’m trying to keep it simple – the less is more approach – but even so I’m feeling the pressure because, having just finished work on Thursday and the kids now off school, I keep counting the days and there just aren’t enough to get everything done.

So this year, I’m discovering that ‘short-cuts’ are the working housewife’s best friend – let’s just call them time-saving devices that allow you to eke out the hours until Christmas.

Our fourth Christmas in Dubai, and still a novelty seeing trees surrounded by palms and blue sky


By now, the kids were meant to have seen Santa, but we failed at the weekend due to the queue at Wafi and when we trooped over to another mall, we were told the part-time, lazy oaf of a Santa there only works evenings.

We could take the traditionalist approach and see Santa in the snow at Ski Dubai, but I’m thinking it might be insanely busy – like the rest of Dubai, which has swelled in size with thousands of relatives and tourists in town, here to have Christmas on the beach.

I’ve also got a sneaking suspicion that if we did come across Santa in Dubai he might be on the skinny side and sporting a sun tan.

So I’ve warned the kids we may have to email their Christmas list – plus friends have told me about a website, www.portablenorthpole.com, which is apparently brilliant – and free.

A more worrying hitch that came to light while attempting to do some baking with the kids is that only half the oven works – it can just about cope with fish fingers, but a turkey big enough to feed 10-plus people on Christmas Eve could take all day to cook.

We're coming over for Christmas. All of us


So I’m looking into take-out turkeys – because this is where Dubai comes into its own. Despite Christmas not being an official holiday here (DH will be at work, training, on the big day), you can pre-order a cooked turkey with trimmings from a number of hotels – some will even deliver, meaning your turkey arrives at your door like a pizza.

A few other short cuts I’ve discovered include the mince pies at Spinneys (delicious), the frozen sausage rolls in the hidden-away ‘forbidden’ pork section, e-mailable gift certificates from Amazon for my family back home and the fact that it’s ok to superglue the gingerbread house we attempted – as it’s too hard to eat anyway and using icing as glue, as the nonsense in the flat-packed kit suggested, resulted in a derelict shack.

The red nails are even a possibility now that I’ve clawed back a few hours. But not the holiday highlights – because my hairdresser makes enough money here giving women beautiful sun-kissed hair-dos that she can afford to leave early for a beach resort in Thailand.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE – AND WISHING YOU ALL GOOD THINGS IN 2012!

Santa in the desert: The man himself arrived in a red Hummer at an event organised by the Dubai Irish Society

Don’t let mummy at the scissors!

Yesterday I had a blonde moment, a knackered mummy minute – call it what you like, I’m still kicking myself.

I could reel off a list of excuses – the fact that we have two sets of visitors at the moment, it’s BB’s sixth birthday today and it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my dear friends in America from all of us here in Dubai!

So I’m thinking about a long list of things, including a birthday train cake, presents, a tea party, a booking for a turkey dinner for 8, pumpkin pie, plus lunches, dinners and activities for our guests and, ahem, Michael Bolton tickets (no, no, no – not for us, but as an early Christmas bonus for our nanny Catherine the Great, who really wants to see him live in Dubai tomorrow!)

It feels like my mind’s on overdrive and I’m running round like a headless turkey.

When my parents arrived the other day, my Mum brought with her a new bank card for my British HSBC account, which I only use when I’m in England.

“Make sure to cut up the old one,” she told me yesterday.

And so I went upstairs, thinking to myself, “I must cut up the card” – and a good job I did too, slicing it into at least 10 pieces.

Later on, I was at the cashpoint in Arabian Ranches searching for my Dubai bank card, coincidentally also HSBC – the lady behind me staring into her gold-clasped Louis Vuitton purse and silently tutting about being late for yogilates.

Strangely, the card was missing.

The penny didn’t drop until just before bedtime, when I asked DH if he had our card (yes, after three years we STILL share the bank card!) and I suddenly realised where it was – in small jagged pieces at the bottom of the bin – my useless old British one safely tucked in my purse.

What a wally – like I really needed another item on the to-do list this week. And how embarrassing that while my parents are here and at 39 years old, I might have to ask them teenager-style to lend me some dosh!

PICTURE CREDIT: Danz family.com