Silent Sunday

This tree may not bear fruit, but you can be sure its signal will give your BlackBerry or Apple iPhone a boost…

Good luck finding dates on this tree!

I’ve obviously been going round Dubai with my eyes closed though, because when I posted this photo on Twitter yesterday, I learnt that this telecoms-tower-disguised-as-a-palm-tree is not the first by any means. We saw this on Saturday while on a day trip to the emirate of Umm Al Quwain, but apparently they can be seen all over the Palm and around The Meadows in Dubai. The Meadows is an upscale real-estate development, which – like other communities such as The Greens, The Lakes and The Springs – was named with a ‘desert oasis’ theme in mind.

Silent Saturday

Bloggers will know this should be ‘Silent Sunday’, but as Sunday is the first day of the working week in the United Arab Emirates, I’m posting one of my favourite photos a day early. I think the recent sandstorms in Dubai may have left sand on my brain – probably blew in through my ears – because I’m sticking with a desert theme. The Arabian Desert, from which the city of Dubai grew, is truly beautiful – some of it punctuated with shrubs and the odd tree, and some of it absolutely pristine.

The Big Boy and me, on top of a sand dune – you can just see the Hajar Mountains (Arabic for stone mountains), which mark the Dubai-Oman border, in the background.

Turning the desert green

“Have you been inside?” It was the question on all my neighbours’ lips last week.

“Yes, twice today,” I heard mums reply. “There’s even a pork section,” – met with an intake of breath, a smile and a wide-eyed “Really?

We were excited, you see, because we’ve waited three years for a grocery store to open in our compound here in Dubai.

Not only does it mean we don’t have to do a 10km loop anymore just to get milk, it also puts our community firmly on the map – quite something when you consider that in 2009, there was very little here.

Located outside the city in the desert, our newly built villas had sand lots for gardens when we moved in. The front- and backyards were, to the boys’ delight, literally giant sandpits.

The houses are painted a lemon colour – and with rolling desert for as far as the eye could see beyond our compound, the first impression was of acres of yellow, set against the brilliant blue of the cloudless sky.


For a long time, the only way in was via a bumpy, pot-holed track that 4by4s could just about handle without falling apart, but meant cars had to pick their way along, dodging craters, at a snail’s pace.

The roads around the compound were still under construction and I remember well the traffic layout changing overnight – a whole roundabout (a huge one!) vanished and everyone driving home the next day got completely and utterly lost.

Our compound wasn’t (and still isn’t) connected to a sewerage system or a mains water supply – poo trucks take sewage away and water trucks deliver desalinated water to a storage tank.

While everyone loved their brand-new villas, it did feel rather far and sparse, and calling a taxi in those days was like directing someone who doesn’t speak English, and is really only pretending they understand you, to a needle in a haystack.

The vast expanse of undeveloped desert where the boys play - perfect really!


From humble beginnings, our compound has slowly been added to – the swimming pool finally finished (once they worked out how to fill it with no mains water supply), a playarea, gym and dry cleaners opened, as well as a spa offering manis/pedis, massages and hair appointments. The shop took three years because of an electricity supply problem.

Planning is not always Dubai’s strong point.

How does your garden grow? Waiting for the newly planted clumps of grass to merge. In case you're wondering, an irrigation system automatically waters the whole garden twice a day (and yes, we did leave a sizeable sandpit for the boys round the back)!

““Get those villas up as fast as possible, fill ‘em with expats and we’ll worry about the utilities later,” must have been the developer’s mantra.

Today, our compound is even looking green as most people have landscaped their gardens, either planting clusters of grass that slowly merged to form a lawn, or rolling out instant-gratification ‘carpet grass’.

When our own grass was planted, in clumps, LB’s hair was just sprouting too and the race was on to see if our lawn or his locks would grow first.

The boys’ disappointment that I longed for grass and flowerbeds was quickly forgotten when they discovered the enormous patch of undeveloped desert just outside our compound, which we often zoom across in the SUV for fun. Perfect for kite-flying, excavating and quad-biking, there’s even a ravine with steep sides that the kids (and DH) slide down, nicknamed the Cliffs of Despair.

So that’s the story of our house built on sand. With the pioneering early days now passed, it feels like this corner of the desert has been well and truly conquered – and with the help of an awful lot of water, the desert has even been turned green.

Back to reality: A yellow weekend

There’s nothing quite like a howling sandstorm outside and the sound of your kids howling and fighting inside to bring you back to reality with a bump.

When you're surrounded by sand, being engulfed by a shamal (sandstorm) is inevitable from time to time


The stay-at-home or risk-a-crowded-mall forecast for the weekend was for gusting sand to continue buffeting the UAE until Monday – and it gusts everywhere. Step outside, and you inhale sand into your lungs – causing hospital admissions to surge as people with respiratory complaints find themselves gasping for breath.

Blowing sand gets into your ears, in your eyes and up your nostrils. Your scalp feels gritty and your skin is exfoliated by nature’s loofah.

Everything outside is covered with a coating of dust, making the garden look like a scene from the nuclear-war movie Threads and sand even gets indoors, through gaps under doors and air conditioning ducts. Heaven forbid you accidentally leave a window open, and you come home to find the whole room’s been landscaped.

Dubai this weekend: A Mission Impossible 4-style sandstorm - stay safe peeps


On the roads, visibility is reduced, quite drastically at times, with reports that visibility on one of Dubai’s busiest roads was so low at one point that some drivers had difficulty staying on the motorway. In another part of Dubai, there was so much sand on the road, it was being moved with a bulldozer.

When it’s all over, the blue skies return, as though nothing ever happened, and then the big clean up can begin.

Yes, sometimes it does feel like we’re living in a giant dust ball.

Talking of inclement weather, the boys were playing on an inflatable slide at a park the other day and this safety notice made me laugh. Kids take note!

And the copy editing prize goes to…

Aside

Following my post the other day on Dubai bloopers, I’ve had some hilarious feedback from friends who have their own favourites.

If you live in Dubai, you may have seen this one, on the parking ticket machines at the airport:

‘Change is Possible’

And has anyone seen this tanker? A contract company was asked to stencil on the side ‘Diesel Fuel’ in Arabic and ‘No Smoking’, also in Arabic.

This is what came back – bonus points for the spelling mistake too!

Dubai bloopers

When you live in a society as multicultural as Dubai, it’s inevitable that the English language is often used to hilarious effect.

It happens all the time, even at home. A friend recently told me about a phonecall she received from their housemaid.

Painters (who the week before were probably laying paving, and the week before that were fixing the electrics) had somehow spilt paint all over her husband’s car.

Their housemaid called my friend at work to spill the beans: “Sir is hot!” announced the maid, referring to my friend’s understandably irate husband.

“He’s very hot!”

But it’s not just in everyday conversation that words get mixed up. Signs with poor English can be found all over the UAE. Even buildings, government departments and important websites are riddled with grammatical errors and laugh-out-loud typos.

Take, for example, the Dubai Police website.

“Dear driver,” it says under Traffic Awareness. “Expect the sudden stop of the car in front of you, in any emergency.”

Elsewhere, it cautions drivers to follow “Traffic Sins” and, under Travel Tips, helpfully recommends: “Do not look like tourists at airports”.

Here are some more of my favourite bloopers (some of them a bit rude, so click away now if you’re easily offended or would rather not snigger in the back row with me!):

● “Parking in backside” – directing drivers to parking spaces behind buildings

● “Fishing and Getting Closer are Prohibited – at Khalid Port in Sharjah

● “No need for stress, as all matters are beyond the control of anyone” – a reassuring tip on the Dubai Police website

● Al Dhaid – a large agricultural town and the name of a gardening company I’m not sure I’d trust to keep my grass alive

● Al Boom Gas – a gas supplier, say no more

● Housewaif – on wife’s residence visa

● “Taking drugs or alcoholics: These should not be brought to work” – on the Ministry of Labour website

● “Erection Going On, Stay Away” – sign on a construction site in International City (thankfully not used during the making of Burj Khalifa, tee-hee)

To be fair, if most expatriates tried to write anything in Arabic, the official language here, the results would be equally amusing – and funny sign-spotting is a great hobby to have.

When the desert freezes over

In Dubai right now, the conversation on everyone’s (blue-tinged) lips is the same: the cold windy weather that’s whipping up dust storms galore.

It’s all relative, of course (in the UK, 17 degrees might be considered a chilly summer’s day), but the cool temperatures that are currently hitting our normally balmy city are having a far-reaching effect.

Spotted around the UAE today:

– Mums in winter clothes bought in 1992 (and a man wearing a shawl at the supermarket)

– Security men kitted out with ear muffs

– Nannies (the brave ones) sporting hoodies and hopping from foot to foot at the playarea while watching fleeced-up kids

– School guards swaddled in layers and resembling Arctic explorers

– Tourists fiddling with the air-conditioning units in their hotel rooms to see if they double up as heaters

– Those same visitors then heading to Starbucks for a hot chocolate, rueing the week they chose for a winter-sun holiday

– Cricketers, here for the England vs Pakistan Test match, wondering if they’re playing in, um, England

– Cats sniffing the air outside, turning their noses up and heading straight back indoors

– Business men grappling with their appendages – steady on – their ties, I mean, flapping in the wind at right angles

– Camels wearing leg warmers (joke!)

Given that Dubai plays host to more nationalities than the Olympics, there are two camps among residents: the ‘C’mon get over it! Just man-up…this is not cold” brigade and the “Brrrrr, it’s absolutely freezing’ camp.

You might think we’re all wimps but, believe it or not, the temperature in the UAE’s mountainous regions was set to dip to an almost freezing 1°C today, according to the forecast – and, even more surprisingly, did you know it can even snow in the desert?

Almost three years ago to the day, on the night of January 24-25th 2009, twenty centimetres of snow covered the peak of Mount Jebel Jais in Ras al-Khaimah, one of the UAE’s emirates.

Dubai, meanwhile, is abuzz with ‘will-it, won’t-it’ actually rain? There’s been a few drops already – more like a dog shaking off water than a downpour – but the consensus is it’s going to rain on Monday, meaning the highways will be aglow with hazard lights and cars stopped on the side of the road not knowing what to do.

Puddle-loving kids will be in their element, my own included. Some real puddles to jump in are such a novelty after months of running through the garden sprinklers pretending it’s raining (for the sweetest account of how exciting rain is for kids here, pop over to Mrs Dubai – you’ll love it, I promise, especially if you have little-uns).

As for which cold-weather camp I fall in – well, I’m absolutely loving the climate change, but, yes, I’m feeling it. Dubai’s hot weather thins your blood, you know.

PHOTO CREDIT: Emirates 24/7 News

Something out of the ordinary

Friday isn’t normally my favourite day in Dubai, but this weekend DH is here – which means something more adventurous gets put on the itinerary.

So off we went this morning to Dubai creek, the historical part of the city where you can take a ride on an abra (a small water taxi). Amid cries of, ‘But we want to go to Mini Monsters’, we told the boys they’d love it, despite there not being a plastic playarea in sight. This is something different, we said – and, what’s more, the weather was even refreshingly different today – cool, overcast and with tiny drops of rain landing on the car windscreen for all of two minutes.

Taking in the hustle and bustle of the creek is an un-missable attraction in Dubai and strolling along the banks gives you a real taste of the city’s centuries-old trading traditions.

The natural seawater inlet also offers amazing views of old and new Dubai and as we pulled up, the boys practically shrieked with excitement at a luxury yacht-liner. Redirecting their attention to the rickety wooden sailing vessels (known as dhows), we found a water taxi about to set off and climbed on board.

We’ve done the creek with the boys before on a bigger Tour Dubai boat – also a wonderful trip, once we got over BB wanting to play Angry Birds on my phone – but nothing beats ploughing through the water on an abra, narrowly missing the other abras criss-crossing the creek.

Afterwards, we strolled around the wharf where you can see the loading and unloading of the dhows, which still ply ancient trade routes to places like India and East Africa – and, given the Iranian writing on some of the boats, to sanctioned Iran too – just across the water from us. Spices, textiles, hair-dryers, toys, tyres, fridges and even a Range Rover were some of the cargos about to go to sea.

In many cases, the sailors who brave the waters of the Gulf and Indian Ocean live in these colourful wooden vessels, turning each into a makeshift home.

Even the boys were captivated and actually walked for ages – asking, periodically, if we were in London (!) – [whispers] yes, it’s not often that we walk around so much outdoors here in Dubai.

They loved the boats, of course, but BB’s highlights: the underpants drying on the washing line on one of the dhows and the 50-or-so toilets stacked up and awaiting transportation. Why am I not surprised?

Once BB AND DH had stopped worrying about birdpoo landing on them, feeding the greedy seagulls was very entertaining

Good-bye plastic bags

I’m not turning into an eco-warrior, I promise (with two small boys I’m far too worn out), but a comment from a good friend of mine on my last post is really worth elaborating on.

The nifty stunt she told me about combines two of my favourite things (bags and making lists), and, if you live in the Middle East, is coming to a supermarket near you soon.

As I mentioned, here in the UAE we are, for various reasons, consuming more than our fair share of the world. And when it comes to plastic shopping bags, the statistics are eye-poppingly bad.

The UAE is using more than 20 billion plastic bags annually, a figure that’s sparked such intense debate within the emirates that the Minister for Environment has ordered the country to go cold turkey by 2013: that’s right, by next year the UAE is to be plastic-bag free.

To promote Tide laundry detergent, the creative brains at Dubai advertising agency Leo Burnett came up with this reusable shopping bag that doubles as a grocery list.

Resembling a notepad, you write your list on the bag (fruit & veg, milk, bread, sellotape), then wash it afterwards and it’s ready for the next shopping trip. Elegantly simple, huh? The customers, fashion editors and bloggers who were sent the Tide Smart Bag (along with a marker pen and a box of the detergent) were impressed too, and so the plan is to make the bags available around the region.

If anyone from Tide just happens to be reading this (I’m tagging you now, 5 times), please send me one – I’m in the supermarket practically every other day and would be a great walking advert. Plus I reckon the bag could be a sanity saver too as the kids could doodle on it rather than pestering me for cartoon-character-endorsed junk food at every turn.

Customised and eco-chic, even I might remember to take this bag to the supermarket if it had my list written on it.

20 signs you live in the Middle East

I’ve been short on time this week due to work, plus Tom Cruise is in town for the Dubai premiere of his new movie, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, and someone had to show him around (LOL)!

That's actually Tom scaling the Burj Khalifa, half a mile high

Dubai provided a backdrop for the action flick, with Cruise performing a series of heart-stopping stunts clinging to the world’s tallest building.

Since my invite to the red-carpet premiere must have got lost, I’ve been hoping I might bump into him (I had a bit of a crush on Tommo when I was 15, you see – back in the days of Top Gun, when my husband – who stole my heart at Sixth Form College – wanted to fly for the US Air Force and I dreamt I’d be DH-to-be’s wingwoman in a Kelly McGillis-esque fashion).

Anyway, I digress. This post isn’t original – it’s doing the rounds on Facebook and so I apologise if you’ve already seen it. Or wrote it.

It made me chuckle and I hope you enjoy it too.

You know you’ve been living in the Gulf for too long when…

• You’re not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat

• When phrases like ‘potato peeler’, ‘dish washer’ and ‘fly killer’ are no longer household items but are actually job titles

• You need a sweater when it cools down to 80 degrees Fahrenheit

Dubai: A city of contrasts (not my behind unfortunately)

• You expect everyone (over 4 years old) to own a mobile phone

• Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid

• You believe speed limits are only advisory and expect all police to drive BMWs or Mercedes

• You believe the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the guy behind you blasts his horn

• You can’t buy anything without asking for a discount

A friend, just to the left of Tom, who DID get to meet him - AND he's following her on Twitter!

• You expect all stores to stay open till midnight

• You make left turns from the far right lane

• You send friends a map instead of your address

• You think it’s perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm

• You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month

• You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday

• You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something

• You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide

• You realise that the black and white stripes on the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line

• You carry 12 passport-size photos around with you just in case

• You overtake a police car at 130 km/h. And don’t worry about it

• When a problem with your car’s air-conditioning or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes